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1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
andrastes-strap-on
andrastes-strap-on

Varric is the most character of all time and I can’t get over him

He’s a business man. He hates his parents. He has a crossbow named after the woman he loves. She made him the crossbow. It’s so powerful nobody can know. He writes crime novels. For a while his only friends were bisexuals. He’s famous. He’s a wanted criminal. He once organised an underground expedition/treasure hunt. He writes porn. His best friend went to magic hell. His other best friend has one arm. He works for a powerful religious organisation. He runs a spy network. He’s mayor of his hometown. He’s killed dragons. He refuses to cover his chest. He won’t sleep with you. He can turn invisible. His brother lost his mind. He’s four feet tall. He’s confused by chocolate. He was kidnapped by the church police.

theover-soul
orzamara

anders dragonage is such a character. he has a clinic in a sewer. he wears feathers. he’s both tainted and possessed. he occasionally glows. he’s the reason mages aren’t allowed to leave the tower for PE. he came up with a cat name before he got a cat. he’s bad at spelling. he blew up a church. he has a “controversy” section on his wikipedia page, but the controversy in question is him being way too into men for gamer dudebros in 2011 to handle, not the fact that he blew up a church. he has a wikipedia page

Hey guys welcome back to my channel, please like and subscribe. It’s been a minute since my last text post, don’t know exactly how long because there are no time stamps on tumblr posts (which I hate???) but uh anyway hi anyone who reads this. I smoked weed for the first time in like 7 years today and I don’t really have anything to say about it except I just don’t think I need to be any dumber or lazier than I already am so I dunno guys, still don’t think this is for me. In other news I really badly want to move but I have more debt than ever and I have to sell a house in order to do so, so uh, joke’s on me or whatever for trying to be an adult. Missing being 25 and having nothing instead of 32 with negative nothing. Hahahahaha. In other other news I got called a snob on tiktok and it’s probably been close to 10 years since I was called a snob on here so like, time is a circle or something, whatever. I don’t know why I got on here, I just cleaned my house for like four and a half minutes and I felt like I deserved a break. See you in six months or like a year or whatever byeeee

the-overanalyzer
moghedien

the Origins PC and companions are genuinely the funniest group of people if you actually think about it, like you got:

  • The Warden who literally got their job yesterday and was put in charge of saving the world for some reason
  • the second-most-recent warden who immediately pushed all the responsibility on you and REALLY doesn’t want to tell you who his daddy is because that would mean more responsibility he does not want
  • this random swamp witch who’s mother may or may not be Baba Yaga but she personally has never been anywhere larger than a small village and does NOT understand human interactions also she can turn into a spider
  • a bisexual nun who you met in a bar who told you that God told her to tag along with you but actually she used to be a spy and has murdered a lot of people, but also she assures you that she never took vows of chastity so she’s dtf
  • a grown up child soldier giant man who you got out of a cage for some reason who spends half the time negging you and talking in circles but is apparently into that and also the only thing he likes about your country is cookies
  • an assassin that was hired to kill you and immediately started flirting with you the moment he failed at doing that and you just thought it was a good call to let him tag along
  • an elderly woman who has assigned herself the role of group grandmother, really doesn’t want you to fuck or talk about griffins, and also she’s possessed. let’s be real, she probably regrets being in this group
  • a dwarf who’s wife ended up being a psychopath and a lesbian, so he just decided to skip town with you
  • a magical construct that has spent the last 30 years getting shit on by birds and just is REALLY pissed off by that
  • A dog that is able to comprehend human language and uses that ability solely to beg for treats

And the optional:

  • Literally the guy that you have been fighting against the entire fucking game
bizarredeparture

God I love that fucking game